


Daydream's Inc.

by Deansimpallagrl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Come Shot, Condoms, Guilt, Gun Violence, Kissing, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Sad with a Happy Ending, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-24 09:45:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl
Summary: Jared Padalecki needs to move past a tragic death and finds a way to explore the memory that changed his life.  Jensen Ackles was a hostage negotiator but couldn't save the most important case.  Jensen is hoping to re-invent himself and save people again.  One program from a company called Daydream's Inc. will bring them together.  Can Jared move on, can Jensen save himself?





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I am not used to doing WIP's but this one I plan on getting all up as soon as possible. I am planning on posting at least every 2 days. I hope you enjoy this journey! I would also like to thank JMW for the prompt and I hope you enjoy it!**Update** all finished and I hope you enjoy!

“We here at Daydreams Inc. want to assure you that the journey through your memories will be a relaxing and enjoyable experience. We strive to provide you with the most immersive and realistic experience possible. Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you and welcome to our facilities.” Jared Padalecki was impressed by the slick decor and modern technology in the office. The carpets are a grey that is plush and soft. The walls are a warm tan color with highlights of dark green. It creates a warm homelike atmosphere. The lighting is all recessed and a little dim to help carry off the feeling of home. The screens on the walls show short videos of smiling people sitting in a comfy chair with a helmet on that is shiny and silver. Their various dreams are showing on a monitor with a smiling lab-coated assistant watching the images of babies being cute or puppies being played with.

His therapist Dr. Shirley had recommended coming here after Jared had admitted he didn’t know what to do to get past his loss. Just thinking of losing Stephen and what he went through a year ago makes him shudder. How on earth will he get to a place of peace in his heart? Jared had sheltered himself away in their home and ignored the outside world. He had enough money from the sale of his photographs that he could live comfortably for a while. Jared was an award-winning photographer of celebrities. He took photos that magazines paid through the nose for. He always got the best out of the people he worked with. He had a Zen way about him and was always patient with his clients. He knew how to make anyone relax with a smile. He was not shy, and he had a way about him that people trusted. He was also funny and relied on his natural sense of humor to make people laugh. 

That was how he met Stephen Amell. When his series Arrow took off Jared got him booked for promotional photos in costume. The CW was thrilled to have Jared on board because he was the best and they wanted this show to be big. The first time Jared saw Stephen he nearly dropped his camera. Stephen was handsome in a rugged way and his intense expressions were like gasoline on a fire for Jared. Stephen had a way about him that made him seem aloof. Jared likes a challenge. They got along through the shoot and Jared got the nerve to ask him out. Stephen laughed and gave Jared his number. They made a coffee date for the next day and as they say, the rest is history. 

Jared shakes off his thoughts and goes to the receptionist. She is a young brunette with a bright smile and a perky attitude that put Jared off right away. Why should anyone be happy when he wasn’t? He shoves that thought down and smiles back at her.

“Hello Sir, do you have an appointment?” Her nametag says Tuesday and Jared just manage to stop the giggle forming with a cough.

“Yes, I’m Jared Padalecki to see Ms. Day.” He brushes his hair behind his ear in a nervous gesture.

“Of course, Mr. Padalecki. Just have a seat and she will be with you in a moment.” She gestures to a few chairs outside an office and turns her attention back to the phones.  
Jared sits down fidgeting looking through magazines absently. He is very nervous about this appointment. He was not sure he should come here. This memory is his most cherished thing. He misses Steven so much and this is his last moments with him. Maybe he isn’t really ready for this yet. He is just about to stand up and bolt from the room when the door opens and a young lady walks out smiling.

“Hello Mr. Padalecki, please come in.” Felicia is young but very smart. The research he did on her showed she was the top of her classes in college and had a bright mind. Her clothes are more casual than Jared expected. She is wearing a skirt with symbols on it and some dark leggings. She also has what looks like a t-shirt, but she covers it with a white sweater buttoned to cover the writing on it. Her hair is in a ponytail that has some curl to it and flaming red. He is sure she is the creator of this program, but he expected someone more professional. He goes to a chair and sits down looking around her office. He almost laughs out loud at the Star Wars and Harry Potter posters framed on her walls. She seems to be flying her fan flag proudly. They are signed so they are worth some money, but they are classy, and he is beginning to like her style. She slides into her chair and curls her legs underneath her.

“I can see you appreciate some of the fandom’s I love. What’s your favorite?” She looks relaxed and much more eager for this kind of conversation.

“Star Wars is my favorite without the prequels. I like classic things and once you mess with it too much it can stop being fun.” Jared feels himself relax into the chair. He loves talking about passions and besides it gives you a better read on people.

“Good choice. I love Harry Potter more but that isn’t what you are here for. Since you asked for a meeting with me, I am guessing you have concerns?” Felicia pulls a pad of paper off the desk and a pen.

“Yes, I was recommended here by my therapist and I did some research. This program looks amazing, but I am not sure exactly what will happen. Can you let me know exactly what this program does?” Jared chews on his lip a little looking around the room.

“Well, what we do is ask you to describe the memory you want to revisit and then we create it like a video game but more realistic. Then we interface with your mind using an implanted device that sends chemical signatures to your brain this will give you a complete immersion into the memory. The implant is not permanent, and we will remove it of course when you are done. The helmet we put on helps send the signal of the program to your brain. We do not do anything to your brain we just make sure it is projecting to you the memory you want. It is not going to do anything but shows you the memory and let you interact with it as if it was in real time. Like a video game, you have the ability to affect the memory, but you can’t change it too much. Does that answer your question?” Felicia gets these questions all the time and she is getting better at explaining her program.

“That does help me understand exactly what happens. What can go wrong?” Jared is feeling like this will be great for him to see Stephen again, but he doesn’t want to get sucked into this without question.

“Oh, I see, well the only thing that might be bad is if you are so involved that time just slips away from you. If you stay too long in a memory that can be bad for your body. We are monitoring you, so we have safety protocols to interact with you and remind you that you need a break. There is always a person watching your vital signs and your body for any issues. I know that this seems like it is too good to be true. Some people just think it will never work or that there is some catch to this. The only thing is usually the price, but I don’t think that is an issue for you.” Felicia is watching Jared’s face he looks like he is nervous still and she is thinking this memory is very important to him. This may be a case they need to watch closely. 

“Your right I was worried about a catch. This memory is very special to me and I am most worried about it becoming something that would be taken out of my head or be able to be broadcasted or uploaded for anyone else to see. How do you keep my memory safe?” Jared leans forward holding his breath.

“That is something we put in the contract you sign with us. We will create the memory for you, but we destroy them after you are done. They are only accessible to you by a password only you know. None of my workers or me can get to them ever. Again, we are not taking anything from your brain so your original memory there is yours forever. The one we create is as close as we can get to yours and you will work with a programmer to make sure it is what you want. The person monitoring you never sees the memory. Does that help?” Felicia is feeling better about this meeting. This guy needs to do this she can tell. She wants to help him, she feels like she needs to.

“Yes, thank you I feel much better. I am very private, and I was worried my memories would be available to anyone. I think that I am ready to move to the next step. Do I sign the contract with you?” Jared feels like this will be the only way to help him revisit this memory and maybe move on.

“Not with me but we will make another appointment with you to do that. Then we can have you work with the programmer at that time as well, so we can get you started. You can make the appointment with Tuesday out in reception. If you need anything else or have any questions here is my card with my number, you can call me anytime.” Felicia hands Jared the card and shakes his hand walking him to the door.

“Thank you so much.” Jared walks to reception and makes an appointment for the next step. He is glad he gets to have time to think on this some more. He will do it but this way he can make sure he has all the other doubts worked out. He walks out to his car feeling lighter than he has in a long time. He is making plans to move forward.

Jensen Ackles is neck deep in term papers and wishing he was anywhere else. He became a college professor of humanities after nearly losing himself in tragedy. He was a hostage negotiator for a long time. He enjoyed helping others and he was very good at it. He walked away to have a quiet job without stress and pressure. It has been a year and he is just beginning to want that life back. This life he has now is a sleepwalk for him. His life after the tragedy was full of nightmares, waking up in a sweat, and sometimes ready to vomit. 

He couldn’t stop seeing the scene over and over in his mind. Heather, his sister in law shaking and holding a gun. His brother Josh on his knees holding their son Ben begging for their lives. He can never stop it, he only watches in horror as she shoots them and while Jensen is in shock shoots herself. He was talking to her and she seemed to be calming down. He thought she would drop the gun. He had never lost anyone before. He had always managed to talk them down. He still doesn’t know why she did it. He shut down and couldn’t deal with anything. He couldn’t talk to his parents. How does he explain he failed them? 

He never thought he would want to think about having his old life back. After that night he never wanted to be around hostage negotiation again. The job was intense, but Jensen seemed to thrive under the pressure. He got calm and saw clearly what had to be done to get everyone out safely. He was a natural leader, and everyone felt relaxed around him. They knew he would get the job done and they trusted him. He trusted himself until he couldn’t talk down the most important people to him. He shook himself out of the memory of that night and saw an old friend standing in his office door.

“Hey Jim, good to see you. What’s up?” Jensen feels himself getting excited. He doesn’t see Jim often this could mean something good.

“Hey, Jensen. Glad I found you. I have an offer for you.” Jim hopes that Jensen will listen to him.

“A job offer? What makes you think I want to leave all this?” Jensen grins he hopes this is a job offer.

“Yeah smart ass. I started something new and I need good men like you. There are companies who get people to go exploring their memories. The major issue is how to get people out of these memories. They get so deep they forget it’s a memory. That’s where I come in and get the people out. I need a good negotiator.” Jim knows Jensen is the best. They worked together until the horrific night that made Jensen walk away. Jim was his boss and they had a special bond. Jim was almost like another father to him. He had been trying to figure out how to help Jensen but until this idea came up, he had just left him alone. Now he hopes this is a way to grow his own startup but also heal Jensen if he can get back to saving people. He knows Jensen never stopped blaming himself when it was not his fault. Mental illness is serious and hard to understand. He hopes this is the answer to getting Jensen back on his feet.

“Wow, that’s different. If it’s in someone’s mind how do I get in?” Jensen’s heart is beating so fast. Could this be the answer to his funk?

“That’s what we rely on the memory company for. They always have a back way in since they realized this snafu. Usually, it involves getting you an implant to be able to connect. Nothing permanent but a part of their programming.” Jim knows questions are good it means Jensen is probing to find any problems. 

“Ok, does that mean I would be on my own in someone’s mind?” Jensen doesn’t like the idea of being alone and not having a backup.

“No, the rest of the team communicates with you for any help you might need. We can feed you information on the person involved.” Jim leans against the door watching Jensen’s face liking the excitement he sees there.

“How soon would you need me?” Jensen needs to help people again. He doesn’t care about pay or where this will be. He has no ties here anymore.

“As soon as you are available. We need to train you on how to navigate the programs. My offices are in LA. Do you mind moving?” Jim knows this is all ironing the details Jensen is hooked.

“No problem I have nothing to keep me here. I need to give notice so why don’t you email me anything else I need to know. Thanks for thinking of me. I need this.” Jensen hugs Jim as tears prick at his eyes. Jim knows how bad it was for him and he can’t live the rest of his life hiding from the loss of his family. He watches Jim leave and immediately starts writing his letter of resignation. He is also organizing in his mind what he needs to get done to find a place to live and get packed up. This is the most hope Jensen has had for a long time.


	2. Changes

Jared sits up in bed a scream in his throat. He can almost smell the blood, he can still see Stephen’s body. He hasn’t had this nightmare in a while. One of his biggest hopes is that by re-living this memory he will stop having this nightmare. He doesn’t want the part he woke up with to overshadow the beautiful moment he wants to see.  
He is soaked in sweat and can hardly catch his breath. He goes to the bathroom to splash cold water on himself. Looking in the mirror his face looks so different than he remembers. He is thinner, and his eyes are sunken. He forgets because he doesn’t want to look at himself. He lived, and Stephen didn’t, how can that be fair? Why should he be allowed to eat and sleep? His chest starts feeling tight and he walks back to the bedroom sitting on the bed his head in his hands. He knows he needs to do some calming breaths, but he is drowning again in guilt. He should suffer because he shouldn’t be here.

The gunman who walked into their favorite club didn’t yell anything, he just opened fire. He seemed to pick people at random, the first shots made them jump but it was so crowded they couldn’t see where the gunman was. They tried to run for the door as Jared pushed through the crowd pulling Stephen behind him. Jared felt Stephen’s hand slip out of his and turned falling on his knees next to Stephen’s body. That is the only reason Jared lived. He went down just as another bullet passed through the spot he was occupying seconds before. It was dumb luck, and Jared couldn’t handle that. He lost everything in a second. The ambulance was fast, but Stephen was shot in the chest and bled out quickly. They tried to revive him all the way to the hospital as Jared shook and stared at Stephen’s chest willing it to rise and fall with breath. His hands covered in blood that was drying and making them tacky. He had tried to help Stephen but didn’t know where the bullet had gone. He was numb in shock and he could still smell the coppery tang.  
Jared begins to sob softly falling to his knees beside the bed. He doesn’t know how he can still have tears a year later. He grabs the small urn he keeps by the bed with Stephen’s ashes in it. He feels like Stephen is nearer with this and he holds it to his heart. He looks at the cold object and sighs. He will get to see Stephen again soon and that will help, won’t it? He has the appointment to sign his contract with Daydreams tomorrow. In about 6 hours he will begin this journey to see Stephen again. He knows that is why he had the nightmare because he had been worrying about this for days. He is not sleepy anymore and he knows he needs to sleep but that awful scene will be waiting he knows.   
That is what happened in the first few weeks following the shooting. He felt like a man walking in syrup, he could see the world passing him by, but he didn’t feel a part of it. All those people were happy and living. How can they be happy when something so awful happened in the world? He shook hands and had hugs, but he didn’t remember anyone’s face or what they said to him. He managed to keep away the press by using their lawyer as a buffer. It kept them from using his grief for sensational news.   
Jared gets dressed and decides to go out for a run. They live near a private path that goes by a park and it is dark and quiet. He can use the Zen state he enters when he runs to get him calmed down. Then he can face his day. It is a big day for him.

Jensen is carrying the final boxes up the stairs to his new apartment. It was tough finding a place he could afford and liked. This one was good enough for his first place here. Once he gets used to his job and the area he can zero in on a better place. This is a new beginning for him and Jensen is excited. He left the college behind happily. He was glad they didn’t even have a goodbye party for him. It was only a placeholder for him, not a place he loved. 

He was not a fan of LA but again this job might take him other places. He can’t wait to have his first meeting tomorrow to meet the team and begin this new journey. He locks up the truck and heads up to get things unpacked. The first thing he needs to find is the bathroom boxes he needs a shower. He is glad he didn’t have too much to move because it makes it easier to unpack. He had always lived alone so he just had the basic stuff. He made his career his life and avoided anything but one-night stands. He liked to stay focused and he thought having a distraction like a boyfriend could be bad for him. When he lost his family, he didn’t want to make any new connections because he could lose them too. He didn’t think he could take any more loses. His heart can’t take any more. 

Jensen acts like a robot like he doesn’t care and that couldn’t be further from the truth. He wanted to be a negotiator because he wanted to help people. He has always felt a need to help. He thought he would be a firefighter as a teenager. His dad and he saved a family and their possessions from a fire. Their neighbors were trying to get out of the house and when Jensen and his Dad saw the flames they ran in. Jensen followed his dad without a thought and they got the Mother and Daughter out and most of their important possessions including their pets. Once they got out of the way of the firefighters Jensen knew he was addicted to that rush. That feeling that you were in danger but doing good for others. He went through a little of the training for firefighters and found that he didn’t have the stomach for the burned bodies he might find. So, he put his mind to other service jobs and ran into a growing field of hostage negotiating. He would be working to save others but not in danger himself. He liked being able to talk to people and work them away from doing whatever horrible thing they were thinking. 

He met Jim when he first started negotiating. Jim was a great trainer because he had been around long enough to see everything. He was gruff and sometimes hard to deal with, but he knew exactly what to do in any situation. Jim also had a background in Human Behavior. He told Jensen being able to predict someone’s thinking is the best way to diffuse a situation. If you can think ahead of them, you can talk them out of an idea before they say it. You can find ways to reason with them so that they think you understand them and even agree or sympathize with them. If you can get someone to feel like you are on their side and not against them, you can get a lot more done. Being adversarial, even if it looks good in a movie, is not the best way to deal with people. Some people, of course, do respond to that but you must know they do before you antagonize them. Jensen learned a lot from Jim and he is so glad Jim is the one to help him move on in his life. He is beginning to believe that Jim did some of this just to help Jensen. It makes him giggle to himself as he finds his toiletries. 

He has a quick shower and does a little grocery shopping, so he can be ready to eat and sleep here to start his new job. By the time Jensen slips into bed, he is tired and ready for a new day.

Jared is exhausted but firmly ready to take the next step and get his memory of Stephen in front of him. He walks into a different part of Daydream’s Inc. and this area has yellow highlights on the walls. It makes him think of warm sunshine and he finds an involuntary grin on his face. He follows the signs to the contract negotiation area. They put Contract Negotiation on the door. He thinks maybe it was to make you think you have wiggle room even if you really don’t. He walks in and finds a few cubicles facing the door. Their walls are a blue color as if they want to make you think of babies and cute cuddly things. A young male worker stands up from his desk. 

“Mr. Padalecki? My name is Sean and I am ready to go over your contract with you.” Sean shakes Jared’s hand grinning as he tries to check out Jared without being obvious.

“I have a question if that’s ok?” Jared sits in the offered chair and while he is flattered that Sean was checking him out, he also feels sad. There is no way he will ever be ready to date again. 

“Of course, Sir.” Sean relaxes in the chair watching Jared for any signs of panic. He was warned that this client was very charged up about this and they had spoken to his therapist. They knew this was important, but he has to get to this decision without their coercion.

“I wonder if there is a time limit on a session?” Jared wants to have as much time to see Stephen as possible. 

“We try to give you as much time as possible, but we recommend you not spend more than 6 hours, but we usually schedule for 2-3. We are watching your vitals, so we know if you need to come out earlier.” Sean knows he will want the maximum, but he hopes he will be reasonable.

“I would like to have 3 hours if I can. I am sure no one gets 6 hours. Why is that the maximum?” Jared is not sure he is going to like this answer.

“Well, your brain is powerful and if it gets enough signals that you are not responsive it can start to shut itself down. Like a forced coma and that is bad. That is why we monitor you so if we see a major change in your vitals, we need to get you out of the memory. We have never had any major problems so don’t worry.” Sean is bouncing his leg below the level of his desk. They haven’t had any major problems because they employ a team of people to come and get them out if they start down the dangerous path towards death.

“That sounds scary, but I can understand that. I am ready to sign the contract.” Jared is relieved. He doesn’t care about his body anymore. This memory of Stephen is all he cares about. 

“Sounds good, we will go over the contract and once you sign, I will send you over to your programmer. If you have any pictures or videos of the memory you want us to program, I will provide you with an email address to send them to before you sit down with the programmer. This will help us build your memory more precisely.” Sean was glad he will sign. Now he will be Mark’s problem in programming.

They go over the contract and Jared signs it in a daze not really paying attention. He is going to get what he has wanted for over a year. He doesn’t even really hear Sean as he tells him there will be two weeks to wait to come back for the actual session. He takes the copy of the contract to the bathroom and splashes water on his face. He is trying to pull himself together. His brain finally caught up with the words two weeks. He must wait two more agonizing weeks. He can do it, but he is not sure how. He needs Stephen’s face to be in front of him again. He manages to send the email with the picture he took of Stephen just before the man opened fire. It was literally seconds before they ran for their lives. He looks at his reflection and winces at the bags under his eyes. He almost looks like a walking corpse. He turns and walks out to the programmer. 

By the time Jared gets home, he needs a nap. His body didn’t get enough sleep, so he just crawls into bed. His mind won’t shut off because he can still see Stephens face. He had to look at the picture and answer so many questions. He didn’t have to talk about the attack, so he lived in the fantasy of a romantic night with the love of his life. He did not know what to do for two weeks while he waited. He finally slipped down into sleep the urn clutched in his hand and Stephen’s face floating in his mind.

Jensen heads to his new apartment glad it isn’t far from the offices. He planned it that way, but he was not prepared for the exhaustion he felt after training. He thought he would have been sitting in boring meetings or watching video’s but instead, he was put through rigorous testing. He hadn’t realized that even if only his brain was being sent into the situation his body needed to be ready to withstand some fluctuations in stress. Even if he wasn’t talking to the person his stress response can and will still happen. If he wasn’t physically up to it, he could have a medical issue and that wouldn’t help their client. He had a better idea of why they needed him. People who are lost in their memories don’t know how to get out or even that they need to. Instead of approaching them like ‘come with me if you want to live’ you need to engage them and try and stimulate them to realize the issue and get out themselves. Until he goes on his first case Jensen is not sure what he will run into. This will be a steep learning curve but the team he is working with are top notch and he trusts Jim. 

After he gets settled into bed that night he starts to drift off and he hears a gunshot from outside. He sits up in bed and before he realizes it, he is screaming as he runs for the bathroom. He manages to vomit in the toilet and when nausea passes, he sits beside it panting and shaking. He hadn’t had a reaction like this in almost a year. He researched it when it first happened and realized it was like PTSD. He had been around explosions and gunfire for over a decade, so he didn’t expect to react to it. Any gunfire trips him up and he is right back at the worst moment in his life. He gets up flushing the toilet and goes to the sink to brush his teeth. After such a great start to this new chapter of his life, he feels frightened again. He needs to get back to saving people. It is not saving them from immediate threats but from themselves. It is ironic that he is saving others to avoid saving himself. He is not sure he will be able to sleep tonight but he must try. He will be going on his first mission tomorrow and he needs to be ready. It takes a few hours, but he falls asleep luckily dreamlessly. When he wakes up in the morning ready for work, he almost had forgotten about his panic the night before. He shrugs it off and starts a new day.

Two weeks passed for Jared so fast he was pleasantly surprised to find the day had finally arrived. He had spent time focusing on getting things in his life squared away. He sent letters to friends and family to say hello and he misses them. He visited some places he enjoyed as a child. He stayed focused on mundane tasks at hand, so the time went by quickly. He was ready today and he went to Daydream’s with a huge smile and joy in his heart. They got him settled into his comfy chair and hooked up. He barely heard any of the instructions and as soon as he saw Stephen he almost wept for joy. This was the most important moment in his life. After a few hours, Jared no longer remembered anything about why he was here and that it was not real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be putting up the third chapter before Thanksgiving but due to the holiday, I may not get the final chapter up until the day after. I hope everyone has a great holiday!!


	3. Extraction

Jensen was so surprised at how difficult this job could be. He had gone out on only a handful of missions but most of them had really challenged him. The people he was sent in to talk to were so lost in their memories they didn’t realize he wasn’t part of it. He had to work much harder to make them aware that they were in a memory. He learned a few tricks but since this kind of job is new to everyone, he is having to pave his own way. He had gone over each mission in his head trying to see what could be done better. He had talked to the team and everyone was pleased with how fast he is learning. 

Jensen is a natural leader and his coworkers seem to respond to him. Eric and Logan were becoming close friends to Jensen and they would follow his lead anywhere. Jim is not surprised by this, but Jensen still doesn’t understand why this seems to happen so often. They went out for a beer or two the past weekend and it was a nice distraction because Jensen can’t stop having the same nightmare. He can’t stop seeing his brother and nephew dying. The gunshots are so loud, and he flinches as he runs towards his brother and nephew. He feels like he never gets closer to the bodies. That is when the panic sets in and he wakes up sweaty and crying most nights. He gets up long enough to pace his apartment drinking some water and trying to calm down. He manages a few more hours sleep before getting up for work. He pushes aside his feelings about that trauma. He has never worked on getting help. He is the kind of man that feels like things will go away with time. His parents tried to get him to therapy when it happened. He just went to two appointments before he made excuses and just moved away to become a professor. He had a hard time seeing his parents because he knows he let them down. They never saw it that way but when Jensen stopped returning their phone calls and wouldn’t visit, they realized he was lost to them. His mom still leaves messages and emails him, but he can’t respond. 

On a lovely Friday morning, he heads into work after a wonderful full nights sleep. It was a rare morning he feels so good. When he got to work and saw he had a new mission he was excited. 

“Okay everyone listen up. This mission is one we had expected to come in, so I have some information to study up on.” Jim passes out a packet on the current client of Daydream’s Inc. that needs their help.

Jensen sees the name and it looks familiar but when he reads that the client was the boyfriend of Stephen Amell, he remembered about the awful club shooting. This guy Jared had lost a lot a year ago. Jensen looks at the photo and his brain seems to stop working. The hazel eyes and sunshine smile make his heart skip a few beats. His shoulder length brown hair frame his face that looks carved from marble. Jensen’s cheeks redden when he realizes that Jim is staring at him. He must have made noise when he looked at the picture. He clears his throat and looks attentively at Jim who has a strange grin on his face.

This guy was dating Stephen Amell and was in the Tidewater club where that lunatic homophobic asshole shot up the place. Stephen was one of the 20 dead from that shooting. We were alerted by Felicia Day who saw this Jared for a meeting a few weeks ago. She could tell he was putting a lot of hope on getting to see this memory. He was recommended to them by his therapist. The therapist Dr. Shirley warned her too that he may need some help. She made the choice after meeting him to give us the info ahead of his appointment there just in case. He has been in this memory for 8 hours now and he is not responding to chemical stimulation. His body is starting to show signs of shutting down. They need us there as soon as we get a plan together. Review the file and come back together in 20 minutes we will make our recommendations. Can I see you, Jensen?”   
Jim wants to make sure Jensen is focused on this. This could be a case the press gets wind of and they want to look good. This could be a way to get more visibility.

“What do you need me for?” Jensen already feels personally involved in this mission. That club shooting had made him angry. He was not openly gay but those close to him knew he was. 

“Look, I am not stupid I know you might have a response to this client. I just want you to use that huge brain to find a way to save him. I am counting on you, Jensen.” Jim knows Jensen can do this and maybe it is a way for Jensen to begin his own healing. 

Jensen nods and goes to his own cubicle. He sits down looking at the picture of Jared Padalecki and feels a pull in his gut. This man was in trouble and he had lost so much. He was probably not in his right mind. Jensen knows how that feels. He knows how much the world can seem like it is dark and unappealing. He reads up on the memory that he will be going into. It is the moment before tragedy struck. The picture Jared took of Stephen right before the gunman started firing. It looks like Daydream’s gave him a minute or two before and looped it behind the picture. Jensen knows from experience that the person’s mind will often just keep going in a huge loop that feels like a short time, but the outside world time is hours. Since they were in a club he would blend in for Jared. His ability to get Jared’s attention is the hard part. He feels a fluttering in his stomach. He doesn’t remember being nervous before. He looks at the clock and realizes it is time to meet up and make plans.

Within an hour Jensen and his crew were at Daydream’s offices being led to the room where Jared is beginning to waste away. Jim starts by talking to the technician to get an update on Jared’s vitals. The other technician gets Jensen set up in a chair and explains how they will attach the implant and monitors to watch his vitals. He looks over at Jared as he is being hooked up and his body is long and lean. Jared looks gaunt for as tall as he is. Jensen is worried that he might also be wasting away from the weight of his pain. Survivors guilt is what they call it. It really is wanting to die. Jensen understands a little and his heart is breaking for Jared. Just seeing how much he has let himself go just to get to this memory. This guy needs to be saved from more than just being stuck in a memory. Jensen relaxes into the chair breathing slowly clearing his mind. This is still not a natural thing for him, but he knows what to expect now. 

Jared is staring at every inch of Stephen’s face. He feels like he could drown in his eyes. Stephen looks at Jared with a blank but handsome face. Jared doesn’t want to break the mood, so he just stays there staring at Stephen. He feels like he is in heaven. He knows that if he can see Stephen everything is all right. Jared sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He turns and gasps softly at the stranger walking up to him. The first thing he sees is the deep green eyes that sparkle. They are like pools of moss. He then notices the freckles dotting the rich tan skin. They are on his eyelids and sprinkled over his nose. Jared can feel the smile on his face growing. His short hair was a light brown and sculpted just right to give him a carefree look. This stranger was grinning at him like they were long lost, friends. Jared watches the man get closer to him and he can’t look away.

“Hey, I am sorry to interrupt but are you famous? I don’t usually do this, but I had to ask.” The stranger blushes. He is not looking at Stephen but is looking at Jared.

“Oh no not me, it’s my boyfriend Stephen he’s the actor.” Jared likes feeling like the one people focus on rather than Stephen. 

“Oh wait, your Jared right? I do know you. I have seen you in a magazine before, right?” The stranger doesn’t even look at Stephen and Jared is getting confused.

“Well I have been on various red carpets with Stephen but that’s all.” Jared looks at Stephen, but he doesn’t seem to see the stranger. That is weird because Stephen loves attention. He has pushed Jared aside before to get to fans. 

“Well, you certainly are handsome enough. My name is Jensen and I have been admiring you. I had to come to talk to you.” Jensen pulls up a chair and sits down looking Jared over with obvious enjoyment.

“Wow, no one ever talks to me like that. Thank you. I am here with my boyfriend though.” Jared is really enjoying this but why is Stephen not looking upset. Jared looks at Stephen again and he is not paying attention to anything. This is not like Stephen. Jared reaches out to touch Stephen and Jensen takes his hand. Jared looks back and Jensen looks intensely into his eyes.

“Please Jared, listen to me. You don’t need to stay here. Stephen wants you to move on. Please leave with me. You deserve to be happy Jared.” Jensen was looking deep in Jared’s eyes trying to make him concentrate. 

“You don’t know me, how can you say that?” Jared is so confused. He turns to look at Stephen hoping for some anger or him to step in and tell the guy to leave. Stephen is still not even looking. Jared begins to feel something stir in the back of his mind. He is starting to remember something. It makes him panic a little. He pulls his hand out of Jensen’s and stands up.

“Wait, Jared, I am sorry if I scared you. Just sit down and talk to me.” Jensen watches Jared and is seeing him beginning to wake up to his surroundings. He is scared, and he wants to resist.

“Look, Jensen, you don’t belong here. I know you don’t belong here. Why are you here?” Jared reaches out to Stephen but when he touches his hand it doesn’t feel like anything. 

“Jared I am here to help you. Please look at me.” Jensen stands up and walks in front of Jared seemingly through the table.

“Help me? I don’t need help. Why doesn’t Stephen look at me?” Jared can’t make sense of this. They are in their favorite date spot and he knows he never met someone like Jensen.

“He can’t look at you, Jared. I know this is hard for you to hear but this isn’t real. You are in a memory.” Jensen watches Jared’s face. He can see Jared thinking about this. And suddenly Jensen can’t see anything, and he hears crying. Jensen reaches out and realizes he needs to remove his helmet. As he puts the helmet aside, he looks around as his eyes adjust to the light. He sees Jared laying in the chair crying softly to himself. The technician is busy taking off the various sensors on Jared’s body. Jared only cries. He doesn’t try and do anything. Jensen waits to be fully undone before he goes to Jared’s side. 

“Jared, can you hear me?” Jensen takes his hand in the real world. He holds it and waits for Jared to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a roll so maybe the last chapter before Thanksgiving. Stay tuned!


	4. Moving On

Jared hears voices and can’t stop crying. He knows he is in the real world again. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t know how he got here again. He feels a warm hand and hears a familiar voice. He feels a little relieved. He thought that voice was not a real voice. He opens his eyes and the lights are very bright. He closes them again for a second and when he opens them, he has a close view of those green eyes. Jensen is right there beside him concern all over his face. Jared is stunned. This stranger is real and not only that even more breathtaking in the real world up close. 

“I’m sorry but are you, Jensen?” Jared is hungry and tired, but he wants to know what happened.

“Yes Jared, I am part of the team that came to help you.” Jensen gives him a cocky grin and watches the color come back into Jared’s face. He can see the handsome that is there despite being 20lbs underweight. 

“Thanks, but I really didn’t want it. That memory was all I wanted. Now, what do I do?” Jared’s eyes fill with tears again and he turns his head letting them fall. Jensen lets go of Jared’s hand for a moment. He finds the bag he brought and pulls out a blanket. He covers Jared up with it and turns down the lights a little so Jared could have some time to adjust.

“Can we have a minute here? I want to talk to Jared alone.” Jensen looks around the room and the technicians' nod. Jim pats him on the shoulder as he gets the rest of the crew out of the room. Once they are alone Jensen gets down on his knees beside Jared’s chair.

“Jared, I know how you feel. I know you don’t know me, but I understand losing a lot suddenly. I want to help you.” Jensen takes Jared’s hand again and rubs it softly trying to get Jared’s mind to focus on the touch.

“I don’t deserve this.” Jared whispers as if it was a thought, he didn’t mean to give voice to. He won’t look at Jensen.

“Let me get you home at least. Rested and fed then maybe you and I can have a talk.” Jensen wants to make sure Jared is safe in his home. Being left alone right now would be bad for him.

“I guess. I just need a few minutes to stretch and get on my feet.” Jared pulls the blanket off and stands up slowly stretching out his muscles. He remembers there is a bathroom nearby and goes to use it.

Jensen begins to pack up his bag and makes sure he has everything that Jared brought too. He opens the door to the room and looks for Jim. Jim walks over with a sly smile.  
“Is it ok if I get Jared home and safe? He’s alone, and I think it would be dangerous to let him go alone.” Jensen is not sure if this is allowed and he doesn’t want to overstep his bounds.

“Of course, this was our only mission today. Just check in with me to make sure nothing else has come up later today. Don’t get too lost in problems that aren’t yours.” Jim pats him on the back and gets the rest of the team together to leave. Felecia Day shows up a few seconds later and comes up to shake Jensen’s hand.

“Thank you so much for your help today. I knew this one was probably going to be an issue. I also hoped it would help too. I hope that he will be ok.” Felicia was so relieved Jared was out of the memory but was worried he was unstable.

“No problem I am glad we could help. I am taking him home to make sure he feeds himself and rests. I am sure he will be ok, but he will need some help for a while.” Jensen is listening for Jared and hoping he doesn’t have to kick down a door to get him out of the bathroom.

“That is sweet of you. Please let Mr. Padalecki know to call me if he needs anything. Thanks again for everything.” Felicia smiles and heads to her office. She is hoping that Jensen can be helpful to Jared. 

Jared comes out of the bathroom a little bit later and Jensen helps him to Jared’s car. Jensen drives for Jared and gets directions from him. Jared is floating in and out of sleep and Jensen wants him to awake enough to eat a little before sleeping. Once they get to Jared’s house Jensen realizes there is not much food. He had settled Jared on his couch for a few moments. Jensen digs in his bag for his protein snacks and water. He gets Jared to have a granola bar and some water. Jared eats and drinks but like he is not all there. Jensen walks him to his bedroom.

“Jared you need to get in bed. If you want to change, I will go in the hallway for a bit. I will be here to make sure you can get to sleep.” Jensen watches Jared nod and goes to the hall listening as he hears clothes rustle and eventually Jared’s sigh as he sinks into his bed. Jensen walks back in and sits on the opposite side of the bed from Jared. 

“If you need anything just say my name, I won’t leave you.” Jensen feels the need to brush Jared’s hair out of his face. He resists because he doesn’t want to creep Jared out. Jared doesn’t take long to drift off to sleep. He snores and doesn’t move much. Jensen feels creepy watching him, but he wants to make sure to wake him up from any nightmare. He needs to stay down in sleep to get his body fully rested. He gets up from time to time and paces the room. He watches but luckily Jared sleeps very deeply and Jensen wonders if he needs to wake him up or let him sleep. After 3 hours he steps out of the room to call Jim and make sure he isn’t needed.

“Hey Jim, it’s Jensen. I was checking in to see if you need me.” Jensen listens for any sounds from Jared’s bedroom.

“No, we are just writing our reports on it. I don’t know if you have your laptop but if you do can you write your report and email it to me? I want to go over it with Y'all tomorrow.” Jim wants to keep Jensen there and busy.

“Can do boss. I will be at work on time tomorrow. See ya then.” Jensen hears a noise and cuts off the call before he hears Jim’s goodbye. He walks to the bedroom and peeks in. Jared is crying a little in his sleep. He isn’t waking up, but tears are falling, and Jensen’s heart feels like it is breaking. He has never been in love, so he can’t relate to that. He loved his brother and nephew, but it was a different kind of love. He doesn’t know what Jared needs to feel better but if he needs someone to talk to, he would love to help. Jared stars shaking, and Jensen reaches out taking his hand gently and rubbing on it again to get him a little lighter in sleep. It works in a few minutes and Jared is back to sleeping deeply. Jensen sighs and decides to find a takeout place to deliver something here. Jared will be hungry, and Jensen wants to make sure he eats.

A couple of hours later Jensen has written his report and emailed it. He also has found a good pizza place and he orders a few different pizzas. Once the delivery guy shows up, he sets the boxes in the kitchen and opens them, so the aroma might float down the hallway and get Jared up. Jensen has been exploring the house and it is beautiful and big. The floors are mostly marble in a beautiful blue and gray swirling pattern. The kitchen is done in hardwood that looks like cherry. The counters are granite done in a silver color. The sink is white and the appliances are silver. Everything is clean, so Jensen feels weird cluttering up someone else’s space. The walls are all a tan color that looks like the paint was sponged on. They have a few burgundy accent walls that have some pictures on them. Mostly of Stephen and not many of them with Jared in them. Jensen wonders if this was a short relationship and Jared ended up with the house maybe. It certainly doesn’t look like a couple’s home. It’s none of his business so he just heads to the bedroom to see if Jared is up.

Jared is sitting up in bed looking confused. He jumps up when Jensen walks in and reaches for his baseball bat beside his night table.  
“Who are you and why are you in my house?!” Jared is angry he doesn’t know what is going on, but he smells pizza and this hot guy is in his bedroom.

“Relax Jared, my name is Jensen and you can calm down. I helped you get out of the memory you were lost in at Daydream’s Inc. I brought you home to rest and I wanted to make sure you ate and were safe.” Jensen is holding up his hands' palms towards Jared to show he doesn’t have a weapon. He has trained with weapons for his job before and brushed up on it for this new job. He doesn’t want to hurt Jared, but he will defend himself.

“Wait, I already had my appointment? I don’t remember you.” Jared feels like Jensen is familiar, but he really doesn’t remember how he got home. Also, what is pizza doing in the house that carbs don’t live in? Stephen never wanted them to eat what he called shit food. Jared doesn’t remember the last time he ate pizza, but it smells so good.

“I can tell you what happened if you want but maybe we should eat. Do you remember the last time you ate pizza?” Jensen wants to get Jared to eat more than anything. He needs his strength.

“Not really. I needed to be on a diet for Stephen. He said I was getting fat and I didn’t want to make him unhappy. That smells amazing.” Jared walks towards the kitchen as his stomach is making noises. Jensen follows with a grin. 

“Trust me, pal, you are not fat. Your body needs fuel right now it has been through a lot.” Jensen gets a plate for Jared and lets him pick out his pieces. No need to treat him like a kid. Jensen picks out his own and they sit at the table in the dining room.

Jared digs in like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. He makes yummy noises that make Jensen smile. He already got the water, but Jared gets up and grabs a beer. He sits back a while later and pats his belly with a huge smile. He burps loud and long and they both dissolve into laughter with tears. It was like a huge release to them both. When they calmed down Jared starts with a question.

“Jensen, I think I do remember you from the memory. You came up and asked me if I was famous?” Jared remembers a little and it still takes his breath away that this hot guy would look at him first instead of Stephen.

“I did. I was trying to get your attention. You were so focused on him and I wanted to draw you out. You do have a face that would get you into show business.” Jensen gives him a sweet smile hoping Jared would be flattered.

“Not really but ok. How long was I stuck in the memory?” Jared knows from how his body feels it was a while.

“About 9 hours total. We got called in around the 8th hour.” Jensen feels sleepy now and isn’t sure how long Jared will need him.

“Wow, they told me 6 hours was about the limit. I am sorry you had to come to get me out.” Jared’s face falls and he closes his eyes. How could he have been so stupid to think dying in that memory was possible. Now he dragged more people into his pit of misery. 

“Hey, you are not the only one. It’s my job. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t have anything to do but teach at a college. That was boring.” Jensen wants to reach out and touch Jared so badly. It is like an itch under his skin. If Jared didn’t open his eyes soon, he would have to carry him back to bed.

“Teaching? This job is a far cry from teaching. Why the big change?” Jared opens his eyes to watch Jensen. He can feel the air getting thicker with pain and he understands.

“I used to be a hostage negotiator. My old boss recruited me when he started his own company. So less dangerous overall but still helping others. That is really why I love negotiating.” Jensen is trying to keep his game face on, but he is feeling vulnerable lately. All the nightmares and lack of sleep are making him too chatty.

“That sounds stressful. I can’t imagine what you had to deal with. Did you ever lose someone?” Jared realizes after he says it that was a mistake.

“I don’t really like to talk about that stuff. Jared, I want you to be safe tonight, so I will stay on your couch if that is ok?” Jensen feels like screaming and hitting something. He tries to hold himself still, so he doesn’t scare Jared. He knows Jared has no idea about his past. That is the only reason he is trying to be calm.

“Oh, I guess it’s ok. I don’t think you need to. I am too tired and drained to do anything but sleep.” Jared feels his eyelids slowly drooping as he talks. He is exhausted and ready to sleep again.

“I know but if you wake up and need something I can be here. It would make me feel better to know you are ok.” Jensen gets up and starts to clean up the table for Jared. 

“Thanks for dinner and everything. I hope I can repay you someday.” Jared staggers into his bedroom closing the door as a clear signal that he wants some privacy. He likes that Jensen wants to be there, but he needs to make a boundary. He doesn’t think about much as he gets ready for bed and falls into a deep and mostly dreamless sleep.

Jensen listens to Jared and starts to relax when he hears gentle snores coming from Jared’s room. He takes his bag to the guest bath and brushes his teeth. He uses his blanket from his bag to get set up on the couch. He sets an alarm to get up for work on his phone. He has a change of clothes in his bag for tomorrow. Jensen is not sure why he decided to stay here and watch over Jared. It feels almost natural to him and that is a strange feeling for a lifelong bachelor.

Jensen’s phone alarm goes off and he reaches out to shut it off. He doesn’t feel the side table by his bed and opens his eyes in surprise. He sits upon a strange couch and finds his phone nearby. As he rubs his eyes it comes back to him. He is in Jared’s house to make sure he is safe. He tiptoes to Jared’s door and cracks it open a little. He hears soft sobbing. Jared is holding a small vase-like object and crying hard. Jensen feels like he is being a creeper. He goes to the guest bath to get himself ready for his day. He goes to Jared’s bedroom door after he is ready to leave and knocks on it gently. He hears movement and Jared opens the door.

“Hey, I am off to work. I just wanted to let you know. I left a note on the kitchen counter with my number. If you need anything give me a call.” Jensen sticks out his hand to Jared.

“Thanks, and I will let you know if I need anything else.” Jared sniffles and shakes Jensen’s hand his skin tingling from the contact. His heart beats faster and he just stands there watching Jensen leave. He doesn’t move until after he hears the cab at the curb pull away. He staggers to the bedroom and takes a nice hot shower. He can’t stop thinking of Jensen and wonders what kind of excuse he will have to come up with to see him again.

Jensen works hard and tries to distract himself. It has been only a week since he has seen Jared. He is wondering if Jared is thinking of him at all. Jensen has been thinking of ways to check up on Jared without being weird about it. The team has been ragging on him all week about his new best friend Jared. He laughs it off, but he is getting a little irritated. He feels like they think of Jared as someone that is helpless. Maybe they see him that way, but Jensen feels helpless sometimes too. The people he works with don’t even know his past. Jim of course does, and he is the one trying to get the rest of them to lay off. 

Driving home from work on a Friday night Jensen’s phone rings. He is driving so he doesn’t pick it up and he hears the tone of a voicemail. He thinks maybe Jim forgot to tell him something and he doesn’t worry about it. Once he gets home, he puts his keys on the table and looks at his phone. He doesn’t recognize the number and decides to listen to the voicemail.

“Hey, this is Jared. I know we haven’t talked in a bit, but you left your number and I think I need to talk to someone. I am getting the idea you understand what I am going through at least a little. Please call me back I really need someone.” Jared’s message cuts out as if he couldn’t decide how to end it. Jensen feels a little tingle in his skin. He is excited Jared called and he decides to drive over instead of calling. This might be a situation where face to face is necessary. Jensen tries to decide on the way if he will tell Jared about what horrible memory he carries in his mind. He thinks Jared may be the only one who would understand. Someday he must trust another person. He isn’t used to that but maybe this is the perfect time to. He pulls up to Jared’s house and checks his hair and teeth before going to the door. The door opens before he can even knock. A very different looking Jared answers the door. He has put on some weight and his color is good. He has some nice clothes on and he looks very well groomed. The bright sunshine of his smile makes Jensen speechless for a moment.

“Hey Jared, I hope it’s ok that I dropped by. I got your voicemail, but I wanted to see how you were doing.” Jensen can’t stop looking into the hazel eyes full of sparkle and life now. He was handsome before but now he is so hot. Jensen is mesmerized.

“No worries, I was hoping to see you. I was so nervous I hung up on the voicemail. I’m sorry.” Jared blushes so beautifully and looks down at his bare feet. Seeing Jensen again is making him flustered. He thought he was remembering wrong just how hot Jensen is. Seeing those green eyes again and those freckles make him have butterflies. The plump kissable lips he hadn’t noticed before. When Jensen isn’t speaking, and his mouth is a little open Jared can’t see anything else. Like now they are just staring at each other.

“Come in please.” Jared steps out of the doorway.

“Oh yeah, thanks!” Jensen was so lost in Jared he didn’t realize they were just watching each other. It seemed natural and that is something that feels so good.

“Have a seat, do you need a beer or water?” Jared needs to do something to keep his hands occupied. 

“Beer would be great. After work, I need one to relax.” Jensen watches Jared walk away and that is like a punch in the gut. His butt is so perfect, and it stirs up things in Jensen that are best put aside. 

“Here, how are you?” Jared sits next to Jensen on the couch and takes a sip watching the beer bottle on Jensen’s bottom lip as he drinks. The cold glass pressed against it and a small drip of beer roll off his lip on to his shirt. Jared is breathing hard wanting very much to lick that off. What is wrong with him? They barely know each other. He needs to calm down.

“Thanks for the beer. I’m doing ok. Just getting used to this city and the job. It has taken me all over and I am not sleeping very well so I am tired all the time.” Jensen takes another drink closing his eyes. Can he really talk about this with Jared? He wants to unload on someone.

“Having nightmares? I know how that feels.” Jared reaches out and touches Jensen’s hand gently. He wants Jensen to trust him. It is his turn to help Jensen.

“Well, you asked me last time if I had lost someone. I don’t like talking about it but I guess I should. I was a negotiator in Dallas and I was the best. I had an amazing record and was cocky as hell. Then one night I get a call to go to my brother’s house. It was surrounded, the police were afraid to do anything without me. My sister in law had a gun on my brother and nephew. She wasn’t making much sense. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. She let me in because she said she could trust me. I talked to her but she just couldn’t get over the fact that my brother wasn’t listening to her. Of course, that was only in her mind. He had been trying to get her to therapy for a while. He had taken care of their son Ben while she was too depressed to function. My brother Josh had been trying to get her into an institution, so she could be monitored and properly medicated. She was not going to go. Josh didn’t know she had purchased a gun. She pulled it out and held it to his head threatening to end all of this if he didn’t back off. He of course agreed, and Ben walked in to hold onto Josh and beg his mom to stop. She cried a lot and screamed some. The neighbors called it in. When I came in, she just said you won’t listen to me. She was not fully coherent, and I did not realize just how dangerous that was. I begged her to put it down and just talk to me. She cried harder and when Ben said: “Mom, please stop.” She put the gun to his head and shot him. She screamed so loud and as I watched she shot Josh. I tried to run to their bodies to save them. As I ran, she turned the gun on herself. I lost them all in the space of 30 minutes. I didn’t know what she was capable of that night. I walked away after that.” Jensen was seeing the scene in his mind. Tears streaming down his face. He was shaking not sure what to do.

Jared reached out and pulled him in for a hug. He held Jensen tight letting him cry. He didn’t say a word because nothing could help. He knew exactly how that felt. He didn’t want anything but the touch of another person. He lets Jensen have that comfort to unload a years’ worth of pain. 

Jensen clings to Jared so glad to have this kind of comfort. He hadn’t let anyone get close enough in all this time even his parents. This was like opening the floodgates of the pain he held onto so tightly. He feels like he is getting lighter letting all of this go. 

They sit like this for a while. Jensen calming down then sobbing again. Once Jensen calms enough to sit back Jared gives him tissues and watches him waiting to see what Jensen needs next. After blowing his nose Jensen feels like he is lightheaded. He can’t believe how much pain he had held inside. 

“Thank you, Jared, I didn’t know how much I needed that. I had held onto this feeling like I could handle it. I avoided my parents because I felt like I failed them. They have only wanted to help, and I have been a bad son.” Jensen makes a mental note to call his mom as soon as he leaves. She will be so happy.

“I know that we don’t know each other very well but trust me when I say it isn’t your fault. I have blamed myself for Stephen. I didn’t realize until you talked to me that it is true. We were in a situation we couldn’t control. I had no way of saving him and it was lucky that I lived. You, however, were in a position where you thought you had control. No one has control over other people. Mental illness is something you can’t predict. I know very well because I fight my depression all the time. I was diagnosed long before Stephen died. I had days where getting out of bed was impossible. I thought things that were not logical and even now I wonder why I did. Trust me you could not have stopped that unless you could possess her and physically stop her. Let it go that you could have stopped that. Just be glad you were there for them at the end.” Jared is holding Jensen’s hand and hoping his words will get through. Jensen’s face is full of confusion warring with shock.

“I didn’t know you had depression. I didn’t know Heather was ill either. I was so involved in my career I was barely there for my family. You are right though. I have gone over and over that night and I don’t think there was anything I could do. I just wish there was. I can’t believe how much better I feel. If I had known, it would feel this good to let it go I would have done it long ago.” Jensen doesn’t know how fate brought them together, but he knows he needs Jared in his life. 

He watches Jared’s face and he can almost feel the magnetic pull their lips seem to have. They leaned together at the same time and tentatively touched lips. They both sighed as soon as their skin touched. Jensen cradles the back of Jared’s head as he explores his lips. The soft kisses became wetter as their lips parted and Jared’s tongue slipped out to lick along Jensen’s lower plump lip. Jensen groans as his own tongue tangles with Jared’s. They both seem to have lost the need to hold back. Jared works on Jensen’s shirt wanting to touch skin and Jensen helps. They never part lips until the shirt needs to go over Jensen’s head. Then Jared gets an idea and he doesn’t take it all the way off Jensen. He lets it stay over Jensen’s eyes as he kisses down Jensen’s neck. 

“Oh please,” Jensen whispers as he thrusts out his chest. Jared nips and licks down to a nipple that is so hard and brown. He puts a hand behind Jensen’s back and holds him still as he sucks in the nipple slowly. He uses some suction and loves the groan he gets. He can feel the hard cock against his stomach and knows Jensen is very into this. His own cock is pressing against his jeans. He doesn’t remember the last time he was turned on let alone having such a fire inside him for another person. 

He nips and sucks at the nipple and then switches to the other as Jensen’s hands flutter like birds on Jared’s back. They are wanting to get to skin but stopping when Jared sucks harder. A growl erupts from Jensen as he pulls off his shirt from his head.

He gets Jared’s shirt off quickly and he lays Jared back on the couch and licks down his chest to his stomach sucking up the skin in hickeys as he goes. Jared is moaning and rubbing his hard denim covered cock against Jensen’s chest. He finally gets to Jared’s pants and undoes them letting his large cock free bouncing against his stomach with a little pre-come bubbling out. Jensen groans and grabs his own hard cock to stop himself from coming. The sight of Jared like this is almost too much for him. He stops for a moment and catches Jared’s eyes.

“Are you sure this isn’t too fast?” Jensen can’t go on if he thinks Jared might not be all the way willing.

“Please, I need you.” Jared is burning all over and he needs this so much.

Jensen nods and gets the rest of Jared’s jeans and underwear off. Then he thinks maybe the bed would be better. They are not tiny guys, and this could get so much hotter if they had room. He takes Jared’s hands and leads him to the bedroom. Jared follows behind gently stroking his cock as he watches the amazing ass in front of him. When they get there Jensen points for him to lay down and Jared does excitedly. Jensen stands at the bottom of the bed and does something he has never done before. He slowly starts swinging his hips from side to side sliding his hands over his stomach towards his pants.   
Jared moans as he follows the hands and his cock jumps against his stomach. Jensen grins and undoes his button then slides down the zipper just enough for Jared to see he isn’t wearing underwear. He winks and reaches his hands up to his nipples pinching and licking his lips. Jared groans and holds his cock because this is so hot, he doesn’t want to end it early. 

Jensen moans and his cock jumps in his jeans. He reaches down freeing his thick cock and sliding his jeans down his legs turning to the side so Jared gets a good look at his ass. When he is naked too, he can’t take it any longer he crawls up on the bed. He licks Jared from testicles to the head of his cock taking it in his mouth and looking into Jared’s eyes.

“Oh wow,” Jared whispers at the look of his cock in Jensen’s mouth. Stephen wouldn’t do that at all. He just wanted to fuck Jared without much else. He pushes Stephen from his mind and that thought was enough to get him back from the edge of orgasm.

Jensen does a slow suction down his cock his lips stretching around. He doesn’t stop until his lips rest on Jared’s balls. Jared is amazed and watches with wonder as Jensen waits a few moments before coming back up for air and uses his spit to drip onto Jared’s cock head rubbing it in. He sucks a few more times as he is rubbing his own cock into the bed needing friction. He sits up and reaches for his jeans finding his condom and rolling it on. He looks at Jared.

“Can I open you up with my mouth?” Jensen always wants to make sure someone is comfortable.

“Please, Jensen.” Jared would say anything just to get Jensen’s mouth on him.

Jensen rolls Jared’s hips up a little putting his legs over Jensen’s shoulders. He licks a slow stripe over Jared’s hole feeling the heat there and watching it quiver under his touch. He nibbles suck and lick feeling the muscles loosening under his tongue. He sticks his tongue in a little and feels his opening and he moans over the tender skin. He looks up and Jared has a bottle of lube in his hand with a grin. He hands it to Jensen and he uses a generous amount and his fingers to finish getting Jared ready. Jared is moaning non-stop his head rolling from side to side. 

Jared can’t touch himself or he will come. He wants to come on Jensen’s cock. Jensen can hold back no longer. He lines himself up and slowly slides himself in Jared. Feeling the tightness there he goes slowly to bottom out feeling surrounded by heat and heaven. Jared is watching Jensen with longing in his eyes and Jensen starts a maddeningly slow and deep pace rubbing Jared’s prostate and making him crazy.

They both are sweating and moaning watching each other. Jared starts to wiggle more, and Jensen understands. He picks up the pace a little and feels his own orgasm building up with so much delicious pressure. They both grunt and move in the same rhythm faster and harder until Jared screams locking up around Jensen and jets come all over his own chest. Jensen follows seconds later calling out Jared’s name as he pulses hard inside Jared. They both pant and Jensen kisses Jared’s knees sweetly waiting for Jared to relax and release him. Once he is out, he gets up tying off the condom and throwing it in the trash can. He gets a washrag and wets it coming back to clean Jared’s chest with a grin. He rinses it out in the sink and hangs it to dry. He comes back and lays in the bed gathering Jared’s limp form to him as he strokes his sweaty hair. They fall asleep that way sweaty limbs entwined. 

A few hours later Jensen wakes up a little confused but so very happy. He feels like he is wrapped in velvet. He is so relaxed he doesn’t know that he could move. He kisses the top of Jared’s head and sighs into his hair. This should have felt strange and too fast for a relationship, but it felt like the rightest thing in his life. He had shared so much with Jared and he feels like they are joined together by so much. He hears Jared clear his throat and they look at each other.

“Wow, that was quite a night. I really never meant to move so fast, but I feel like there is so much here between us.” Jensen wants to make every night feel that good for them both.

“I have never felt so amazing after sex before. I have never come from intercourse before. I always took care of myself after. Stephen wasn’t much for getting me ready or caring what I was doing. After this, I am pretty sure we didn’t have quite the relationship I thought we did. I had always felt like my job was to make him happy. I realize that a relationship really is a two-way street. You have taken care of me and I have helped you and we have only known each other a week. I hope we will continue this. I think we have so much to explore together.” Jared knows he never wants to go back to a half relationship again. Jensen is someone he wants to spend a lot of time with. They need to explore this, he feels like this could be the best thing to ever happen to him.

“I really want to see you a lot more Jared. I want so much to get to know you. I have never had a long-term relationship, so we can take this however you want it is all new to me. Maybe we need to start with cleaning up for the day ahead of us. I think a shower might be nice.” Jensen winks at Jared and they are both sure cleaning up is the last thing on their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. If there is enough interest I may continue this to explore their relationship more. For now, this is complete and I really appreciate getting this prompt! Thank you JMW for giving me this gift!!


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